Ah. Scrolling down my inbox I see you haven’t relented of trying to make me (and others, so I hear) feel bad. So here goes.

Well, you’re right, it doesn’t. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m sad and small. Frankly, I feel sad and small a lot of the time, physically, emotionally, intellectually. Maybe most of the time; sometimes all of the time. And so do the majority of other people in the world.

Actually, maybe you are bigger than me after all. Maybe it’s not about who’s smaller than whom and you actually are bigger.

Nevertheless I want to thank you. As I’m writing this I’m realizing that you’ve made me feel better about myself. I feel good about the fact that I don’t ever feel and have never felt inclined to abuse anyone else to make myself feel big.

Suddenly, as I’m writing this I’m feeling deeply thankful that I’m not you; more importantly, despite everything, despite my sadness and my smallness, I’m feeling thankful that I’m me. I haven’t felt glad to be me in some time.

“A big man has no time really to do anything but just sit and be big.” —F. Scott Fitzgerald

So you just sit there and be all the big you want and send people cruel messages and get bigger and bigger till there’s no more big to get.

Good things come in small and sometimes very sad packages and often big people like you wind up on tabletops running away from field mice like me.

I wish you a better day than you deserve.

~Alec